This
is story is stupid, made for fun, and there is no reason to take it in any
serious manner.
This is the sequel story to "Homo Sama no
Daibouken".
The roulette has started rolling once
again. Loki, Horus and I looked carefully to see on which number it will set
that will determine Homo's fate.
"Hahahaha!!!! I couldn't ask for
a better result!!!" laughed Loki.
"What is it?!" I asked.
"Look at this!" said Horus
to me. "He is going to reborn as this person!"
I looked at the result "Wait
Loki, Horus! This is not fair! It means he won't have any chance to take his
revenge as this being!"
"That's what makes it so fun!
He'll have to escape this reincarnation!" laughed Loki.
Homo Sama looked at black void. He
had no body. He wondered what the hell is going on. "Someone… hey…"
he said. "Mother fuckers! Answer me! I was supposed to be born
already!"
"Hello Homo Sama! This is the
first time we speak. I'm Loki Muhahaha!"
"Loki? Where is Yahoveh?"
"Oh he is with me. But you won't
talk to him" said Loki. Those assholes tied me so I won't able to do
anything. "Listen. You'll have to play a game. An RPG, which means 'Role
Playing Game'"
"Oh you mean like during the
sex? That when one role plays the patient and his partner role plays the doctor
and then fucks him?"
"Em… No… Not that…"
"Bummer! So what is that?"
"RPG is a genre of games of
mastering the leveling up system, getting new skills, buffing your stats and
getting stronger each time you get enough experience points. When you'll beat
the game, you'll return to the real world for your real mission. Until you beat
the game, you are stuck here."
"Then there is no time to waste!
Let's start!"
The black void shined in gold. Then
appeared the game title with sparklers "ANAL FANTASY!!!!". The void
turned into a screen with many abilities shown there. "Select your first
ability to start the game with". 'Start with 50 more Stamina', 'Start with
5 more Mana Points', 'Stronger Critical Hits', and more were some of the
options out of them. What the hell game developer thinks when they force you to
choose ability before even starting the game?! However, Homo chose the ability
of 'getting 1% more EXP'. His logic was simple; despite not knowing if the
other abilities are good, he'll eventually get them faster anyway due to
leveling up faster. Then he had to create his character. He designed his
character as bulky dark skinned hot sexy man, with shaved hair and a dick stuck
on his forehead. He finally started the game.
Homo's character woke up in a dark
cave. Many knights' corpses were on the ground. The orc's roars were heard. The
only way was going forward. Then a knight appeared and approached toward Homo.
"I finally found a survivor! Come with me! We'll have to fight the orc and
escape, so first, choose a weapon!" The knight had four weapons in his
satchel: a lance, a katana sword, an axe, and a bow.
"I'll take the katana" said
Homo.
"A great choice! It is one of
the best weapons in the game!" said the Knight. The knight would have said
this about any other weapon to let the player feel good. "By the way, my
name is Tachat. What's your name?" Homo didn't have the chance to speak
yet Tachat spoke again "Homo… indeed, a great name. Homo, come with
me!"
Two human sized lizards holding axes
appeared. "Homo, we'll have to fight them!". Homo slashed with his
sword yet he didn't do any damage at all. "No! I can't believe they are so
strong!" said Tachat. "Then I'll teach you a special move that will
help you! Use it! Sticky Water!" Homo used the move and killed the lizards
with one hit. "WOW! You are so strong! Remember, special moves cost
Mana". Homo just wished that boring tutorial level will end.
As the game level proceeded, he and
Tachat fought even more monsters. He gained some EXP points, and soon is going
to be leveled up to level 2. Then they reached the first boss of the game. Homo
fought fiercely, he slashed the giant orc and dodged his club's attacks. He
took some damage but most of the fight went to his favor. Then the orc roared
and breathed fire to finally kill Homo and Tachat. "Sticky Water!!!"
called Homo Sama. He didn't know that, but some of the character customizations
in "Anal Fantasy" have other uses than just cosmetics; they can affect
gameplay too. Indeed, the dick he designed for himself gives 20 percent power
boost to liquid based moves such as "Sticky Water". The move didn't
kill the orc; however the water move nullified the orc's fire attacks. The orcs
attacked again with his club. Homo Dodged. The orcs tried attacking once more,
but couldn't move his club; it stuck to the ground! The orc decided to give up
on the club and started attacking with his fists and claws. Eventually, Homo
and Tachat defeated the orc and leveled up Homo to level 2.
Three noble knights came in the cave.
"I can't believe it! You actually killed the orc" said their leader,
the knight Tusick "How did you do that?! Our best soldiers died in the
expedition to kill the orc!"
"Those are your best… I was
fucking at level one!" Homo annoyed by them.
"Yeah that's something that we
tell everyone so the real player will feel good with himself, don't take it too
seriously…" said Tusick.
"Oh…"
"You even saved Tachat! Tachat
had to be depended on you to escape! That's amazing!"
"…"
"Listen. We don't know anything
about you, you are probably super weak anyway, but since you are the player
character we must ask for your help! Please! Save our kingdom from the evil
Demon King Akhoraim!"
"No! That's boring!"
"I didn't hear what you've said
because I'm old shitty NPC, so I'll ask again. Save us!"
"No…"
"I didn't hear what you've said
because I'm old shitty NPC, so I'll ask again. Save us!"
"What's wrong with him…?"
Homo asked Tachat.
"Yeah he won't let you go until
you say "yes". That's how we are coded as terrible NPCs. Just answer 'yes.'"
Said Tachat.
"Yes… I agree. I'll save your
kingdom..." Homo had no choice but to give up.
"Good! I'll recover your health.
Also take that 'Fenix Bassa'. It will come handy eventually." Said Tusick.
"Now enjoy! You have massive open world to explore, with useless items to
collect because the developers of our game think that bigger and empty world is
much better than a small and dense one!"
"Eh… sure…"
"When you'll want to continue
with the story, come and talk to me. Meanwhile, enjoy the side quests. Don't
forget to talk to NPCs to get items and shit like that."
"What are you… my mom?" said
Homo and went outside the cave. He went into a beautiful forest with trees so
high and massive that they shadowed everything beneath them, but with enough
space between them to let the rays of sun shine upon the houses. Homo looked
around and saw sexy elf man. He had his plans on him. "Hey, want to suck
my dick?" Homo asked him.
"No"
"What da fuck! How dare you to defy
me?!" Homo drew his sword and killed the elf NPC. "Hahahaha!!!!
That's what you get for refusing me!!!!"
"Murderer!!!" called a
villager woman. "He killed him!". 10 knights at level 15 came and
fought Homo Sama. The fight took only 26 seconds until Homo lost because he was
way too under leveled. They took him to the prison and raped him for five
hours.
"Stop, stop" Tachat came
in. "It doesn't work at all. Look at him, he enjoys that." He talked
to Homo "Why did you kill that person?"
"He refused to have sex with me.
That's his punishment."
"Oh come on… you have to raise
your charisma stat for that so NPCs will agree…"
"Charisma stat?" asked
Homo.
"Yes. When you level up you get
three points to spend on abilities and stuff like that. When your charisma stat
is high enough you can force by consent NPCs to fuck with you. You are
released." Tachat opened the prison gate. "And also, one more thing;
I'm a gay too, so after you'll fuck them I want to fuck with you too."
And so Homo did. He grinded for hours
and reached level 15. His charisma stat was at his maximum and no NPC could
ever refuse to have sex with him. He forgot about his revenge for a while and
had fun times with the sex with Tachat that he fell in love with him. He
proceeded with the story missions and reached level 30, half way into the game.
"Honey!" called Tachat
"I think it is the time! Let's defeat The Demon King Akhoraim!". They
walked along with Lord Tusick into a high and icy freezing mountain, there
waited for them Lord Akhoraim. His form finally revealed. Under his demon mask
there was a man with red skin and white hair.
"Tusick! Tachat! I've been
waiting for you too long since the asshole player of this game left me waiting!
It is fucking cold here, what took you so long?!"
"I've been grinding…" Said Homo
Sama "So I can finally defeat you!" Homo drew his sword that had an
ice gem sealed on it. Every slash will hit ice effect damage.
"No, No! You'll first have to
fight my pawn!" Akhoraim used a spell to summon his minion, Pinbull!
Pinbull was a giant ox, mad one that desires for blood. "Pinbull!
Charge!" and so did the bull. It rushed with his horns that could fierce
even the strongest armor.
Homo received the blow and then used
a skill to examine the ox's stats; 10,000 health points and weak against fire.
"This is an issue…" said
Tusick. "The key to defeat that ox is to use fire far from the user, then
let the bull rush toward the red color and attack it from behind."
"But Honey's moves are blue! So
he can't win?!" worried Tachat.
"Of course he can! It is fucking
RPG! An RPG that doesn't respect the player choice and forces him to use only a
specific method is a shitty one! But it will be difficult!"
Homo fought over 15 minutes. The ox
had 450 hit points left. Homo was at his last 30 hit points and used all his
potions. One hit and he'll die! The ox rushed toward him and killed him.
"Honey no!!!!" cried Tachat.
Homo smiled and then laughed
"Thank god I never used the 'Fenix Bassa'!". Homo revived back to
life with all his health restored. The Fenix Bassa is simple item. It is very
rare item in the game, but is used automatically when the player loses all his
health points and it simply revives the player. "Now die!!!!" Homo
jump in the air and rushed from the air for the final attack. However, he stuck
in the air, and couldn't move no matter what. "Wh- What's going on here?!!!"
