This
is story is stupid, made for fun, and there is no reason to take it in any
serious manner.
This is the sequel story to "Homo Sama no
Daibouken".
Through the history there were many
liars. Some were dictators such as Hitler, some were the news papers' writers,
but the worst of them was the one who wrote the bible. Now you are probably
thinking "But Yahoveh Sama! You wrote bible!!!! By the way, can we have
sex later?!". So first thing, yes, we'll do it later with all of the other
gods, and second; I did not write the bible! Some assholes wrote things that
never happened! And they even have the guts to lie and say that they were my
words! Fuck You Bitch! To the matter, now I'll tell you what really happened at
Genesis' opening segment, the first mission Homo Sama had to save the world!
"Big Brother, how was your
farming today?" asked Abel.
"Like Shit!" said Cain
"Why do you even care?!"
"Haha! You'll get a better day
tomorrow"
"I just wish I could do
something more interesting with my life. You killing animals is way more fun"
"What are you saying? The
animals aren't meant killing them for fun. We need food to our family"
"It is fucking only the four of
us in that damn forest dammit!!! We don't need that much food. Why do you need
to have fucking 40 sheep for just four people?!"
"Big brother, Yahoveh is a
psychopath that needs a tribute every second or he'll get crazy! You don't want
to mess with him!"
"Always talking about that shit!
We can't even see him and we sacrifice for him that much food dammit!"
"What are you saying?! Yahoveh
is the god of all people in the world"
"Wait what… say that
again…"
"That Yahoveh is the god of all
people?" asked Abel confusedly.
"That's it! It doesn't look
weird to you that father told us that it just four of us in this entire world
but the god is for all people?"
"So that's means…"
"That father is a liar!!!!"
Cain declared "Yahoveh is just a dream that father had! He is fucking old,
it makes sense!"
"I had enough with you! Brother,
you shame our father and our god! I challenge you to a duel!" said Abel
determined "We'll give god our tributes to Yahoveh, and then he will
decide who did better! If god doesn't exist we won't get an answer! Which means
that even your shitty fruits can beat me!"
I tasted each of their offerings.
Hmm… Cain's fruits are great actually. Then I tasted the lamb that Abel
offered.
"How is the taste?" asked
Amaterasu.
"Just give me a second…" I
took the time a throw up. How can it be so disgusting?! It is a fresh meat. But
what about spices?! The way the meat has been cut is very badly done! Terrible!
"The winner is… Abel!!!!" I did this just to mess with Cain for fun.
He is the winner for me of course. My best boy!
"No, I cannot believe I
lost!!!!" cried Cain and took his knife "Fuck You Abel!!!!!" and
stubbed him at the nape, then killed him.
"Cain! What have you
done?!!!!" I raged. "How dare you kill your brother!!!"
"Does it matter?!" asked
Cain sarcastically "He is just one person."
"That's not the point! Do you
know how much gallons of cum he could have created?! He could have brought life
to many other new people!"
"But it is just the four of us
anyway… Unless you…. You! Disgusting!"
"There are other people in this
world! I'm not telling to fuck your brother!"
"See?! So father did lie!"
"Anyway, you must leave before
Adam and Eve will see that. You must wander in the world, Cain."
"But everyone will try to kill
me! What can I do?! I'll die!"
"So then I'll give you a sign. A
character that will protect you! You can activate it when you want to"
"Tell me!" said Cain.
"The character will be…
M!!!!". This was the very first sign of Homo Sama. Eventually Homo Sama as
Cain passed away. But, his story isn't over yet. Adam and Even fucked again.
Seth was born; his offspring will create kids that will eventually bring to
life Noah, who was none other but Homo Sama.
The bible says that Seth lived up to
age of 900. What the fuck?! Who actually believes that?! That useless person
was killed at age of 18, at the most stupid way ever. After he brought kids to
life, he thought to himself "Hmm… if I can put my snake at her, maybe I'll
try it myself…". At that time, the dildo wasn't invented yet. Seth found a
viper, and put it inside his ass. This was the first dildo in history. However,
while some of the snakes aren't venomous, the common viper is. This is how Seth
passed away, and then some asshole wrote in a book that he lived up to 900.
Noah was a sexy hot man at his
twenties. He had three best friends that will do anything for him- Ham, Shem,
and Japheth. The bible again lied and said that they were his sons, but I
already told you about the lies, didn't I?! Noah was the best man I could ask
for- bulky man, loves sex with men and adores anal orgy. However, the other
humans weren't so graceful. All they did is being nice to each other. That's
when I've decided! I have to destroy this world, let only Noah live, and then
his offspring will get his DNA of top tier gay. I called to Noah "Noah, we
need to talk!!!".
"What is it? Who are you?!"
"I probably remember me, I'm
Yahoveh. We talked a few generations ago when you were called Cain."
"Oh so you are the one! Listen
man, that M sign is so cool! No man would ever refuse to have sex with me!
Thanks bro!"
I blushed a bit. "Thanks. But we
have a serious matter. I'm going to destroy the world. In 92 days a storm will
come. It will rain nonstop and flood this entire land. So, I want you to save
the world. I'll kill almost every human alive, but take your friends and family
with you and build an ark to save all the animals in the world, and those who
have the M genes."
Homo Sama immediately rushed to Ham
and Shem. "Here a list of animals! Bring them as soon as possible!",
then he rushed to Japheth "you have to build this ship right away!"
"Ship???!!!! It is an
ark!!!!" I raged.
"Shut up nobody talks like
that!!!!"
"Master Noah, with that size of
ship it will take at least 90 days…" sighed Japheth.
"Then you better start
now!!!"
Shem and Ham had a trouble to figure
out the meaning of the animals' names. "What the hell is a
panda?!!!!" Ham punched his fist in the ground.
"Ham I found out what this
animal is!" called Shem. "This animal is very weird, it is actually
coloring pencils!"
"Wait… so the letters in our
list is made out of animals?! Genius!"
"Alright Ham, let's go and bring
the next animal in the list".
"Fuck!!!!!!!" Shem ran away
as fast as he could while holding a lion cub, tries to escape from the lioness
mother whom child was taken. His other friends who also tried were killed in
the process. It doesn't matter in the end because they will die anyway! Not
allowing extras getting into my ark! And so on, 91 days passed. My ark was
finally complete. All the animals were locked in a cage in Noah's ark. Then it
was the time to make a brutal selection which people will get inside the ark,
and who will drown and die.
"Master Noah, please let my wife
get into the ship!!! I'm begging you!!!" cried Japheth.
"Fuck your wife!" judged
Homo Sama. "Only men will get inside my ark! And they have to be
sexy!"
"You monster!!!!" cried one
of the wives. You may wonder how Homo can judge women to devastation. At this
time, he didn't have a single proper mother. Eve was an asshole bitch, and all
of the others knew to say only "Uga Buga!!!". He still hasn't
developed yet the wish to spare women. At this point of time, he only was
disgusted by women. And so, Homo chose for him around ten men that will live.
Among them were his friends, Ham, Shem, and Japheth. The storm came in, and
killed everything outside of it. I also decided to make Santorini's volcano
erupt and kill with Tsunami everything in the Middle East for the nice effect.
You may think that I killed everyone in the world, so… I lied. Places such as
Japan, America, and the United Kingdom were protected by the deities of those
places. But hey, at least I destroyed everything in the Middle East!!!!
…. Or so I've thought… I knew I
missed something… "Look! Master Noah!!! There is another ship!!!!"
called Ham.
"What?! Another ship?!!! We are
supposed to be the only ones alive!!!" raged Homo Sama and ordered to shot
hail of arrows toward the opposing ship. "Show your captain! How did you
know there will be a flood?!"
A hot blond man came out. He was
their captain. "Shut up! Zasshu! I can't let you stay alive. I'm the only
one who should be remembered to survive the flood"
"No way… it his him…" said
Shem. "GILGAMESH!!!!!"
"Like the hell I'll let him stay
alive! Sink his ship!!!" raged Homo Sama. "We'll kill his men, rape
him, and then throw him to be eaten by the sharks!". As the rain won't
stop, and tsunami waves thrusts the land, the first big battle of history
started! Eventually Gilgamesh was killed, and all of his men and wives. From
Homo's side only he, Japheth, Ham, and Shem survived. There are only four men
in the entire Middle East. 50 days later, the rain finally stopped. However,
the water level still stayed high. Homo decided to send the raven to check for
a sign, to see if the land returned to normal in some places. The raven never
returned. So he sent another one. The second one never returned as well. Then
he sent third, fourth, fifth, sixth and seventh ravens as well. They never returned.
That's when Homo knew; the land returned to normal. The reason they never
returned is because they has mass anal bird orgy. By the way, the story with
the dove? Yeah that never happened. From Now on, the raven became the symbol of
Homo Sama. Thousands years later, it will use him for the worst dictator ever
been in the world- Raven Hulk.
"What now?!" said Ham with
no hope on his face. "There are only men in the entire world… without
women the human species is doomed and will go extinct!"
"That's not a problem!"
smiled Homo Sama and took off his clothes. Indeed, every Jews person, every
person in the Middle East is descendant of Homo Sama!
