This
is story is stupid, made for fun, and there is no reason to take it in any
serious manner.
This is the sequel story to "Homo Sama no
Daibouken".
After saving the world due to my
bullshit, Homo Sama had another mission; saving the Hebrew people from the
monstrous Egyptian people. But how the Hebrew people became the Egyptian's
slaves anyway? So let's talk a bit about one of my most loyal retainers; Abraham!
At that time he went by the name "Abram".
Abram was a man at the age of 38. He
had a wife named Sarai. However, Sarai couldn't bring kids to the world. No
matter how many time she and Abram fucked at hot sex. Abram did the classic
ancient times Netorare move and took another woman named Hagar. They fucked
only one time, and she got pregnant. Sarai you useless shit!!! I had enough
with that bullshit! I talked to Abram.
"Abram, listen, do you want a
child from Sarai, right?"
"I do! Please, help me!"
"Then cut off your
dick!!!!"
"What are you talking about?!
How can I fuck my wife without it?!"
"No, no, only the skin, that's
fine!"
"That's pretty fucked up
dude…"
"I know! Your ancestor Noah
loved dicks as well! From today on, every newborn male baby that will come from
Sarai's DNA will have to get his dick cut as well! This will be your legacy;
Sacrificing your dicks to me!!!"
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
It fucking hurts!!!!!" cried from pain Abram while cutting off his own
dick. "You want to do this shit to newborn babies! You are insane!"
"Don't worry, they won't
remember anything. Do you remember anything from the time you were newborn
baby?"
"That's… still… insane…
dude…" Abram barely could talk due to the pain.
"This is now our alliance. As you
have shown that you are loyal to me, I'll give you the letter "H" as
part of your name. From today on, you'll walk under the name
"Abraham", and Sarai will walk under the name
"Sarah"." I didn't plan this at the time, The "H"
meant to symbolize "Yahoveh". But who could have known that years
later it will also applies to "Homo Sama".
As the years went by, Sarah's child
was born. His name was Isaac. I decided to kill that piece of shit because I
was bored. "Abraham, here is your next trial! Kill your son!"
"Are you insane?! I love them!!!
They are my blood!"
"Kill him or your dick is going
away instead!"
"Then I'll send Ismael!"
"No, no! I don't care about
him."
"You mean Isaac?! He is only 9
years old! I can't sacrifice him for you!"
"Who do you think that gave him
to you in the first place?! This is your trial!". Abraham didn't reply to
me, but I knew he thought something in the lines of "Where is my benefit
in this stupid alliance?!".
"Dad! No, what are you
doing?!" cried the young Isaac while his father tied him with ropes.
"Just shut up! If I won't
sacrifice you Yahoveh will kill everyone!". He loaded him on a horse, and
galloped toward the top of the Moriah Mountain. When they arrived, he put Isaac
on the altar. He took the blade and shut his eyes "My son, I love you! I'm
sorry!".
"Stop!!!!!!" I called.
"This was your trial. Abraham, you've proved that you are loyal to me!
This was just a prank.". Abraham didn't move. He froze and was unable to
move. "Heyyyyy…. Abraham, you can move you know...". However, Abraham
was dead. He passed away from the shock of thinking about killing his own son.
Oops?! That wasn't the plan…
As Isaac grew older his son Jacob was
born. Then from him was born Joseph who took the Hebrew people to Egypt. The
Egyptian Pharaoh of the time offered a bet for Joseph; if he'll defeat him in a
sports match, he'll become the next Pharaoh and rule Egypt. But if not, the
Hebrew people will become Egypt's slaves.
"This is not a problem! We the
Hebrew people have Yahoveh in our side! We won't lose!!!!" Joseph believed
in his god.
Screw it; I had better things to do
such as gambling. I ignored Joseph and went to gamble. Then I returned to see what
happened after I lost against Amaterasu for the who knows time. Shit! Those
Hebrew people actually lost!
"Please be gentle to us…"
Joseph asked for their mercy. The Pharaoh agreed, and all he has done is to
give them jobs such as cleaning, farming, fishing, and hunting antelopes. But
as soon as Joseph and the previous Pharaoh passed away, the next Pharaoh took
the chance to destroy the Hebrew people. He decided to give an order; every
newborn male baby will have to be thrown to the Nile. The Nile crocodile is
arguably the most menacing predator in Africa. The only other predator that can
match it is the lion. And very few other animals can defeat it without any
chance of losing; the elephant, the hippo, and the rhino. Indeed, babies will
have no chance to survive its bite. Not to mention that the baby will drown
anyway.
Miriam was Homo Sama's mother at that
time. She decided; she has to save her son from the evil Egyptian no matter
what. Her son will eventually be called Moses. The bible said that she sent him
by a basket at the Nile River. That was correct, but it isn't the full story.
Moses actually had a twin brother. To increase the odds of saving one of them
she sent them at the same time. To the basket of the twin she added inside of
it fresh goat meat, and spread the basket with blood. Indeed, his twin was sent
to DEATH! "Get that sucker!" laughed Homo Sama while his brother was
eaten by six meters sized crocodile. You may think that Miriam was cruel to
send her baby to death. But what choice could she have?! If she didn't do it
both of them were killed by the Egyptian. Of course, there could be a very
slight chance that both of them would have survived. Miriam took her
responsibility as a mother to save one, and kill another.
Homo as Moses grew up as the adoptive
brother of Ramesses, the young prince of Egypt who was supposed to take the
throne of the Pharaoh at age of 17 from his father. Homo had great life; the
servants of the kingdom treated him well, he ate everything he wanted, and
Ramesses was a friendly brother. He loathed his father's horrible doings
to the Hebrew people. He decided that when he'll be the king, he'll release all
of the Hebrew slaves to freedom. But then Homo had to fuck this up!!! Despite
the happy and peaceful life he had, something was missing, even more essential
than water, food, or air to breath. You guessed it! He was missing sex! Homo
tried to restrain his wishes for hot gay sex; at ancient Egypt no one would
even think about it. Gays were killed right away. But he couldn't hold himself
back any longer. At age 17, just a week before Ramesses was going to the take
the throne he decided to kill and rape the Pharaoh- he was the sexiest one. He
smashed a pot on the king's head, and did the obvious acts.
"Amazing!!!! I've waited for
this for 17 years!!!!!" rejoiced Homo while raping the corpse.
"What did you wait for,
Moses?" Ramesses entered the room. "I heard a sound of breaking pot,
are you okay brother?"
"Oh shit!!!!!!" Homo was
discovered.
"You… did you kill our
father?!!!! What the hell are you doing?!". Homo took the chance to escape
while Ramesses was shocked to the seeing of the dreadful scenery. "Guards!
Catch him no matter what the cost! Kill him!!!!! So father was right, the
Hebrew people were indeed monsters!!!!!"
The Egyptian started killing Hebrew
people on right and left to find Moses the monster by the order of Ramesses who
took the thorne as the new Pharaoh. Homo escaped to deep into desert and was
nowhere to be seen. Then after three days of escaping he saw two Egyptian
soldiers punching and kicking an old man who was living in the desert. "Where
is he?! Will you tell us now?!" called the soldier.
"I know nothing about Moses! I
really don't!"
"This is getting nowhere!"
the soldier drew his sword "if you are useless then die!!!!"
"Don't you dare killing
him!!!" Homo threw a giant rock at the soldiers' faces and killed them.
"Wow, I don't know how to thank
you!" said the old man.
"I know how!" smiled Homo
Sama.
And then they banged, of course they
did!
"Now let's get into the matter.
I'm really want to thank you. So you are Moses, the one those evil ones are
after?" said the man named Jethro.
"Yeah, I'm"
"So listen, I'll give you as a
wife my daughter Zipporah, and I'll let you live with us. This is country is
very protected place."
"I'm not into women… they are
disgusting… do you have some hot sons?"
"I do have" Jethro stood up
and called his son, Nader.
"What is it, father?" asked
Nader.
"Nader listen, this man, Moses
is going to be your husband"
"Dad, are you crazy?! I won't
sleep with a man!"
"Show your respect Nader! This
man saved me!"
"More like that you were almost
killed because of that he was wanted…"
"Don't get on my nerves! It is
him or I'll send you to Egypt and you'll have to take his name!"
Homo worked as a shepherd for his
living. Finally! He now can kill some sheep and goats! Take that Abel you
mother fucker! One day one of the goats strayed away from the flock. He
searched for it. Then he saw a bush burning. That was indeed me! "Take off
your clothes of your body, because that place you are standing on, holy place
it is!" I said with a majestic voice.
"Yo, hey Yahoveh! What's up
bro?"
"So you do remember me. Okay,
listen, you are a Hebrew person. I want you to save all the Hebrew people from
the monstrous hands of the Egyptians!"
"No. What is my benefit
here?"
Shit! He isn't stupid as Abraham! I
tried to convince him. "Think about that! If you'll save them you'll be
the leader of them. They will, without a doubt want to have sex with you!"
"How many Hebrew men there
are?"
"Around 600,000."
"Then it is a deal!!!! I'll save
them and they will be my sex toys!!!"
"Then go meet your older brother
Aaron! He'll help you!"
"Brother!!!" called Aaron
with joy "You are alive! After all of those years! I can finally see my
cute young brother!"
"Big brother!!!!" The two
hugged each other at their touching reunion, sucked a bit as well, because why
not.
"So what's the plan?" asked
Aaron.
"Let's go and talk with Ramesses
to free our people!"
"I refuse!!!!!" declared
Ramesses "I loved you Moses, I really did! But what you did to our father
is unacceptable! I won't change my mind even if it is you!"
"Then I'll have to send our Ten
Deadly Plagues! Prepare yourself; Ramesses!" declared Homo Sama and went
away with Aaron.
"So what the first Plague is
going to be?" asked Aaron.
"Disgusting!!!!!!" spitted
Ramesses the water he drank, or at least he thought it was water… That water
was very sticky water.
"That's… cum?!!!!!" a Guard
was shocked when he saw the Nile River that was made out of cum.
"I will not submit!!!!!
Just try me, Moses!!!!!"
Then the next eight Plagues punished
the evil Egyptian. Ramesses refused to surrender no matter what. It was the
time for the final Plague. That will break that dickhead! "Moses, I need
that you will give a sign. For the final Plague I will need to curse the
entirety of Egypt. However, if I'll have a sign to Passover those houses of
Hebrews, they will not be cursed" I discussed with Homo.
"How about cum? We'll spread out
houses with them!"
And so the final Plague came in.
Ramesses who couldn't suffer his son's death due to HIV finally surrendered and
sent the Hebrew people to freedom, toward Canaan.
"Move your lazy assess!!!!"
Ordered Homo Sama to the Hebrew people "Ramesses may let us go but he'll
regret it in a minute!!!! We must pass the Red Sea!!!". Then the bullshit
came in, I opened the sea to half, let the Hebrew people go, and sunk all those
stupid Egyptian that didn't know that can move through the land! The Suez Canal
was excavated only at 1869 you idiots!!!
And so, the Hebrew people were freed.
But didn't they know that their freedom was in name only. Homo Sama was way
crueler than Ramesses. It was like being freed from Stalin to Hitler. Homo
forced the Hebrew men to fuck with him in the hot sun of 2:30 PM of the desert.
Many of them passed away right away.
"Master Moses!!!!" cried
one of the Hebrew slaves. "Please, let us eat something!!! We didn't eat
for days!!!!"
"Brother, he is right, I'm
hungry as well" said Aaron.
"No choice then… I can't let you
break on me… I need to fuck you for at least 40 years in the desert..."
I gave them their meal; it was a
bird, a bird called Bulbul. This is how the word "Bulbul" became the
same word for "Dick" in Modern Hebrew, all thanks to Homo Sama. The
bird had a disgusting flavor, but don't dare you complain!!!
Then the time has come. I sent Homo
Sama and his slaves to Sinai where I gave him the Ten Commandments. Homo went
up the mountain to receive them from me. Forty days later he went down the
mountain, holding the board in his hands. Aaron was busy with something along
with the Hebrew people. "No brother, that's not what you think!!!"
Aaron tried to hide his doings.
"Show me!!!!" said Homo
Sama. It was a statue of a giant dick made out of gold. He threw the things he
had in his hands. "Holy Shit!!! That's amazing, Aaron, did you make it
yourself?"
"Yes I did! Beautiful, isn't
it?! By the way, what did you bring from the mountain?"
"Oh shit!!!!!" The board of
Ten Commandments was broken to pieces! That's when I decided, I must punish
Homo Sama. I decided to make him forget, forget the times he was Cain, Noah,
and Moses! In the next reincarnation, his only memories will be of who he was
before Cain!
