This story is stupid, made for fun, and there is no reason to
take it in any serious manner.
Worth mentioning- Some parts of it uses the online story
"Hayashvanim" by Tsach that was published at the forum
"anime-IL" which no longer exists.
I hope you'll enjoy this stupid plot.
The biology teacher, Pinchas who was
a religious orthodox, ended at the class with talking about the red salmon.
"So you see, those fish stay in the ocean for most of their lives. But
when they are mature enough, they go back to the lake they were born"
"Why do they do it?" asked
a student.
"To fuck the hell out every
other female fish they can. But you see, to get a pussy it is not easy at all.
They need to pass the strong streams, jump over waterfalls, be lucky that they
won't get eaten by predators like the brown bear, and only after that they can
a pussy". "But don't think that just because they made there alive it
automatically means they can fuck. Oh no! The female fish choose them. They
look at their color. The more red it is, it is mean that the male is stronger
and healthier- the thing that you want to fuck with." "If they are pink
like a gay red, that's mean, no pussy for them."
"So what happens next?"
asked other student.
"They die" answered
Pinchas.
"Just like that, having sex one
time and that's it?!" asked Yotam.
"Try to go all that way,
survive, and after that bang a bit without dying without eating for months.
Just try" answered Pinchas.
"Yeah he is right… After the sex
yesterday I was so sleepy" said Gon.
"Gon… nobody asked about
that…" said a classmate.
Eliran, Gon and Yotam were sitting
together at the lunch break.
"Gon, say 'ahhh'" said
Yotam while giving him to eat a sausage.
You get it?! Sausage because they are
gays. If you didn't get it somehow, it may be for the better.
"It will be even better with
some milk on it" said Gon.
A milk?! Wait, Wait, there is limit
to how much porn stuff can be on screen without censoring.
"Gon, didn't we say we eat from
now on Kosher food?" said Yotam.
"But I love milk with
meat…"
"Wait? Aren't you two orthodox?!"
Eliran was shocked.
"What are you talking about…
obviously we are not" said Gon.
"I mean, it is very well known
that all the orthodox are gays… "
"Huh?!"
"You are indeed right" said
Pinchas. "Guys, if you want to learn the truth, you can go we me for a
trip at the holidays next week"
"A trip… It will be a nice
change of pace. I'll go. What do you say Gon?" asked Yotam.
"I'll go, but let's ask Hikaru
and Mai." said Gon.
"I'll go ask them" said
Eliran. "Let's go together everyone!"
"I'm not going" said
Hikaru. "I don't care for trips."
"I'm not going too. I'll stay
with Hikaru" said Mai.
"Oh you are going to spend your
entire week lovey- dovey, right?" said Eliran.
"Wha- We are not dating you
know…" said Hikaru while blushing.
"Yeah! We are not!" Mai
said, blushing as well.
"GOD DAMMIT!" Yotam got
mad. "I had enough with that! Someone has to stop this nonsense and will
be ME!" "You two say for fucking four months that you are not dating
despite being like a husband and wife and go everywhere together! You two are
just a couple of tsuderes! Dammit!". He took Gon's megaphone.
"EVERYONE, HIKARU AND MAI WANTS TO FUCK EACH OTHER REALLY BADLY! WAY MORE
THAT I WANT GON'S DICK!"
"We know!!!" everyone
answered.
"BUT SOMEHOW THEY ARE NOT
DATING!!!"
"WHAT????" everyone was
more shocked than if they were told that Yotam is straight.
"God Dammit I need to do
everything in this house." Yotam got mad and left the two to finally
confess each other while they are embarrassed.
"Is that true...?" she
asked.
"Yeah… extremely true" he
answered.
"Why didn't you say
anything?"
"I didn't want to ruin our
friendship. I was waiting for the right moment. How long were you waiting…
?"
"13 years… "
"Shit. Alright let's fuck."
"Yeah. Let's buy condoms… "
"Teacher Pinchas" Eliran
asked. "Where the trip is going to take place?"
"We are going to Renshuu"
he answered. "It is a city that is also a country".
"Oh like the Vatican?"
"Exactly. We are going to the
burial place of Homo-Sama, the saint that made peace between all of the
religions. He was an amazing man. Everyone in the entire world come to see and
appreciate how brilliant the man was. He is the symbol of peace and love for
the others. He died over 2000 years ago, and people still care for him to this
day."
"Amazing! I bet that Homo-Sama
was such a good person" said Yotam.
"I wish I could go back in time
and see him myself" Said Gon.
"Well, if we go there, you can
somehow see how he was in the past" Said Pinchas. "And as for the
payment for the trip, don't worry, the school will pay it. I'll write it is for
studying purposes"
"Thank You, Teacher
Pinchas!" said the three.
Two days later, Gon, Yotam, and
Eliran were meeting at the airport. It would be a long direct flight that takes
8 hours. As to pay a tribute to the saint, all the flights for Renshuu must
take off at 6:09 AM. Any other number will get the saint mad and he could have
curse the world. If you ask what about Hikaru and Mai… Let's modestly say that they were busy at shopping again after they used 10 packages of condoms… Try to wait
yourself for 13 years, just try.
Raven was still busy at making his
plan work. He went to the garage to fix his old police car. So many insane
rapists sat there and almost destroyed the car with their insanity. At the
place, there was a mechanic named Bruno that was drinking engine oil.
"You are really into this
stuff?" asked Raven. "That's so weird"
"It is great for your mind and
soul" answered Bruno.
"It can fucking kill you,
idiot!"
"Why do you care so much? We
just met"
"Yeah, you are right. Why do I
even care? We just met. But for some reason it feels so hot…"
"Maybe you are sick. Did you get
cold? It is freezing outside."
"No what I mean is that I did I
haven't feel like that since I met Boomie!"
"Boomie?! Do you mean Boomer?
Are you two dating?!"
"If I'll say no, will you date
me?"
"No, because I already date him"
"Fuck"
"But, we can always make a triple.
If you wish for it"
And so they called Boomer and…
Censoring Time Baby! They even forgot about the dead car.
After long flight with some people
that threw up from the disgusting food at the plain, Pinchas and the students
arrived at Renshuu. They took a cab for the holy place. There were about 70,000
people there, from many religions; Jews, Buddhists, Muslims, Christians, Holocaust
deniers, and even ten capybaras. Capybara was the holy animal of Renshuu- If
you understand why, then you watched too much Yaoi. All of them were men, with
no women to be seen.
"Where are the women?"
Eliran asked one random Christian.
"Women aren't allowed to be on
these sacred grounds. The spirit of Homo-Sama will get angry"
"Looks like it is good we didn't
bring Mai with us…" said Yotam.
"Yeah.
Now she has a great time with her "new" boyfriend. Thanks to
you" said Gon.
They entered the Holy Palace.
It was full of male organs painted on the walls. Something that only slaves
like those in the Maya would have done. The way was long, too many stairs to
climb on. After two hours of climbing and wishes that they'll die, the arrived
at the burial place of Homo-Sama at the top of the mountain, outside, while
freezing.
"Thank you for coming,
and I say it with double meaning, all believers of Homo-Sama!" said the
prime religion believer of Renshuu.
Looks like Eliran was
confused. What did he mean by "double meaning"?
"Now, as for your prize
as believers Homo Sama- here are more staris! But don't worry; it is not for
reaching another place. Now they have other purpose! Take off your clothes,
men!"
Fucking Shit! The stairs'
real purpose is for easier gang bang. Eliran now realized that he was the only
straight man in the holy place. "Hey!" said a sexy Christian "Suck
it!"
"No, no, have mercy on
me!" Eliran said and tried to run away. But at such a small place with 70,000
gays, there was no way to run. "No!!! I'm straight!" he shouted.
"What?!!! A straight
here?! You must make the ritual or you'll make the saint angry!" said the
prime Homo-Sama's cult believer. "No, we will be cursed by
Homo-Sama!". A few seconds after, a giant earthquake took place, leaving the
70,000 men's and the capybaras' fate unknown for a few days.
