This story is stupid, made for fun,
and there is no reason to take it in any serious manner.
This chapter is loosely based on Tsach's
"Hayashvanim" story. Barely any sections will be translated directly
from Hebrew to English, unlike previous chapters. However, it does use the
story as guideline.
I hope you'll enjoy this stupid plot.
Homo Sama, Gon, Nathan and Kaisa,
along with their henchmen raided to the next village in Siberia. They prepared
five trucks to take all the men of the village as slaves.
"You… you can't take them.
Please! Don't take my husband" cried one Russian wife. "We have five
children!"
"Shut up, Woman!" Homo's
henchman pointed his gun on her for the kill. Then a bang sound was heard.
However, the Russian wife who saw her life going to vanish realized that she is
still alive. The one who was killed was Homo's henchman that was killed by Homo
himself.
"Why did you kill Yogev, my
lord?!" asked another henchman who tried to ask at the most modesty in
fear that his master won't kill him too.
"He tried to kill a woman. I
won't let this slide. My mother… she was a woman… "
"Huh?! Everyone's mother is a
woman! This is a common sense"
"Then looks like you haven't
learned Homo's creed. Some mothers can be men" intervened Gon.
"Listen woman" said Homo
Sama. "I know it is difficult for you, but we must take your husband"
"Then who is supposed to make
children for us?!" cried the wife.
"Nastia?! Is that what you are
thinking about me?! I was thinking that you love me!" raged the husband.
"I never loved you, Bruno. Fine,
take him… "
"Bruno?!" Homo immediately
shot the husband and killed him. Kaisa and Nathan knew that Homo is not happy
to hear this name mentioned ever again.
"Master! You can't kill every
man with this name! Bruno died because he drank too much engine oil!"
explained Kaisa to him.
"He was pure soul! Don't dare
say it ever again! The only one I loved more than him was Boomie! And even he
left me!"
"Boomer wasn't just into
polygamy! It is not your fault, Master!"
Homo took a few minutes to relax
then, after realizing his mistake. "Nastia, right?" he asked the
woman.
"Yes, what is it?"
"I'm really sorry for what
happened. I shouldn't have killed your children creating machine. Therefore,
I'll give Kaisa for your village for a few days so he can get all of the women pregnant. Is that okay?"
"What?! Master?! No! I want your
dick and only that!"
"Do it or I'll hand over you
back to Switzerland!". That was part of Homo's plan. He knew that if he'll
take all the men there won't be a second generation to take in the next 18
years. He had to create full supply of men that will serve him. Kaisa for him
was old, and he saved him for moments like this.
Yotam, along with around 1000
soldiers went aboard the Icebreaker Ship. "Are you really going to bring
that giant elephant?" asked one of them.
"Of course! Constantine is super
strong! He'll help us to defeat Gon!" Yotam replied. They had to lock
Constantine in the ship basement for the sail and making the place warm.
African elephants will die fast in the cold of Russia, so they also had to
create a giant coat to warm him up.
"Don't die, my friends!"
said Ziv. "When you'll reach Siberia a servant of the king will wait for
you and will lead you to the king's castle."
The ship sailed for around five days;
from the Atlantic Ocean to reach the Arctic Circle, and then, for Russia to
break the glaciers. However, as soon they reached the arctic the ship started
rattling, almost led the ship sink. If that will happen, they'll die in a mere
seconds. They searched for the reason.
"That's Constantine! He acts
like crazy! He won't stop pushing the ship!" shouted one of them.
"Yotam! Do something about your stupid elephant! We'll die because of
him!"
"That's means we are close to
Gon! Constantine's libido has woken up!" Yotam answered.
"I'm not going to die because of
that elephant!" said one of them and unlocked Constantine cage. All of the
others helped him and pushed the elephant out of the ship.
"Nooooooooo!!!!!!!" cried
Yotam. "He was my best friend!". Constantine fell into the cold
waters and the ship sailed without him. "You murders! You killed
him!"
"Shut up Yotam! Because of that
animal the entire basement is filled with elephant cum!!!"
Yotam went to his room, and stayed
alone until they reached Siberia. They took their supply. There was waiting for
them a servant of the king named Heart. His face was hidden behind a helmet and
he wore iron armor. The only part of his body that could be seen is his long
red hair. He brought swords for the all of the soldiers. "Take those.
There are some animals in the way. We have four hours of walking before
reaching the place of my lord."
And indeed, only an hour later three
Siberian tigers attacked them, trying to eat them alive. They drew their
swords, aside from Yotam that spelled some words. "What are you doing
Yotam?! Help us you idiot!" shouted one of them.
"No, let him!" said Heart.
"If I'm correct he is using the legendary move! It will defeat those
tigers without killing them".
Yotam tightened his hands together. A
sphere of fire and electricity appeared in his hands. Then he pushed his arms
and unleashed the move. "Yes, this is the move! The greatest move the
Zain-Bull art!" said Heart proudly. "The Cum-eh-Ha-meh-aaahhh".
The tigers ran away, but sadly, or not sadly, two useless men of the platoon
died at the attack. But their problems didn't stop there. With only an hour
before reaching the place, a pack of wolves attacked them. At this point they
were exhausted from the long journey; they couldn't fight, and saw their death
in their mind. But, they heard a loudly noise reach toward them. It was
Constantine, his libido never stopped. He killed the wolves easily but died of
the cold. For the platoon, he was the hero they never deserved. 500 years
later, a group of zoologist will find him, and will reach the conclusion that
African elephants lived in Siberia.
They finally reached the king's
castle. "Men, we are going to meet the king. Show your honor" said
Heart. The way for the king room was a frozen garden, full with naked statues
of men with erected dicks. Because if you make porn as a statue, that's counts
as "art" somehow…
"Thank you for cuming, mighty
warriors" said the king, named Sergey. "I want that we get right into
the matter."
"Having orgy?" asked one of
the soldiers of the platoon.
"That will have to wait a bit…"
Sergey sighed. "Our foe is Gon, one of the cruelest dictators ever been; maybe
even worse than Hitler and Stalin. They killed out of hatred. But Gon? He is
another kind. He abducts men for sex, to be his slaves. What's worst, that he
has an army of 30,000 men hungry for Russian meat."
"Gon!!! I'll never forgive him!"
erupted Yotam.
"Do you know him?" asked
Sergey.
"He was my husband! And he tried
to kill me!". Everyone was sad for Yotam who remembered those nasty
memories.
"Alright, I want that our new
soldiers will meet their generals." Said Sergey. "Heart, go bring
them".
"But my lord, those are just
gays and perverts with an authority… "
"They are my generals, Heart…
"
"Yes… I'll bring them."
Heart brought the generals, along
with the other soldiers of the king of survived; only 7,500 of them. With the
platoon from Renpuar, they are only around 8,500 against the mass army of Gon
with 30,000. Is there even a chance of winning at all?
The first to announce himself was
Yuri. He was loved by the Russian fangirls. All of them were thinking how good
in bed he will if he didn't like dicks instead.
"My name is Richard" said
the second general.
"Oh so as a nickname I can call
you Di-" said Yotam before being stopped.
"No, my name is Richard"
"But… "
"THE NAME- IS- RICHARD!!!"
The third one was lord Analious. The
rumor said that he was raped by 100 men and didn't even cry for a second. The
rumor also said that he eventually married all of them, divorced them, and took
their belongings, and became a hero of how to become rich easily. And that's
why you always sign a prenuptial agreement before marring, kids!
The forth was Maxim; the war analyst.
He is the one most important for that mission. You'd think that he is something
like strategist, but actually he is just someone who loves asses.
And finally the fifth, lord Hans. He
used to rape kids in his free time. He always seduced them with ice cream that
he made himself with his ice cream machine. Somehow, that worked, despite that Siberia
itself is giant ice cream land…
After all the announcements, king
Sergey started speech. "Men, listen, that's the plan! Gon is inside a
castle 10 kilometers far from us. We'll attack him at dawn!"
"What about warm clothes?!"
asked Maxim. "We'll die! It is fucking minus 70 degrees Celsius out
there!"
"No, there is no need for that.
You'll go outside only with tights, almost naked" said Sergey. "Warm
clothes are fine, but our mobility will be damaged. We have giant swords, so
more weight; in this snow will make us almost stationary targets."
"So what are we going to do?!"
asked one soldier.
"Heart, Show them!" said
Sergey. Heart opened the giant storage, which had over 13,000 vodka bottles.
"That's the plan! We'll get drunk with the vodka, while having mass orgy
this entire night. After that, our body will be warm for around 7 hours! We
must defeat Gon and capture his castle during that time."
And so, they did it. Yotam swallowed
three dicks at once, while getting one from behind. He had the happiest sex for
long time. This orgy was even better than the one at Renshuu. After 6 hours of
sex and drinking, they fell asleep.
Yotam woke up at 4:00 AM to the
toilets. "Yotam!" called one voice to him. He was sleepy so it took
time for him to realize who it was, but after he saw the long hair it was
obvious.
"Gon?!" he was surprised.
"What are you doing here?!"
Gon hugged him. "I'm sorry! I
love you!". Gon took his pants off. "Let's have sex, right now,
honey!"
"You don't hate me
anymore?"
"Why should I? I'm your
husband!"
Yotam kissed him and felt so happy.
But out of nowhere Gon summoned a giant sword, pushed it toward Yotam belly,
and smiled while Yotam fell to the ground with his guts spilled out of him.
"Did you really think that I love you?!" smiled Gon.
